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Painting: the Opposite of Fun

By SHELL SHERREE

Painting a few rooms seemed such a good idea at the time but I've decided painting is the opposite of fun.

I'm sure it just requires some patience and Zen. To be utterly absorbed with the task at hand. To become one with it. To stop thinking about how long it's taking and allow oneself to be lost in the moment. To be totally besotted with the grain of the wood. To not judge it for soaking up undercoat like a sponge on coke, thereby causing the one litre can that should have covered 14 square metres to be snorted up by less than three square metres. I will not judge. I will not judge.

I should be able to peacefully accept the way the natty little implement I forked out for to save me masking-taping up all of the (very many) trims works beautifully in some places and like the aforementioned sponge on coke in others. (Hubby is out buying a large roll of masking tape now. Even worse, I know he will have given a mental Tick and gold star to that task as his proud and solitary contribution to the job.)

As those who have unwillingly gone before me will know all too well, I now have a 10 L drum of environmentally friendly, tinted-and-non-returnable paint sitting in the carport as the ultimate "buddy system" to make sure I keep going. That, plus the generous test patches on the walls. (I'm sure I read somewhere to do that, but the look of horror on the kindly man at the hardware store hinted otherwise - either that or he had the usual male 'non comprende' of the smock-and-leggings look I had going on.)

To further seal the deal on my commitment to the job, Hubby has just returned, proudly brandishing the best, you-beaute special 'painters' masking tape' that the kindly man at the hardware store sold him. It seems that my instructions to please "just buy normal masking tape, not that expensive stuff" bypassed his circuitry after being filtered as the usual 'blah blah blah'. To be fair, the fancy-schmancy tape may be better. As you can tell, I'm no expert, and it may glide on more easily and pull off more smoothly than the silkiest home waxing strips. But unless it unrolls itself and throws itself with Swiss precision over the (very many) trims and peels itself off afterwards, I'll be very disappointed in it indeed.

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