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Weather Forecast: Barmy then Balmy

By SHELL SHERREE

I feel that I need to apologise for causing the unseasonal cold-ish snap we're having. There's a modicum of a chance it could be my fault.

No sooner had I packed away the winter clothes than the winds started to blow from Antarctica. (Rather vigorously.) I refuse point blank, however, to undo my Seasonal Wardrobe Exchange . To do so would cause me to have to redo it again shortly thereafter, as the weather would somehow know I'd done it and would snap back up the thermometer again, until I swapped over yet again, at which time temperatures would drop again, thus creating a chicken-and-the-egg scenario and causing everyone in both hemispheres to be permanently ill-clad and calendar manufacturers to be horribly confused.

So to prevent the earth wobbling off its axis, I am prepared to sacrifice my own comfort. By leaving my winter clothes safely slumbering in their cedarwood hibernation, I will cause the weather to naturally restore itself to its appropriate place in the order of things, and all that is verging on balmy will be upon us again any day now. Then you can thank me. (Please send chocolates - before it gets too hot. KoKo Black would be nice.)

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