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Melbourne Cup Tips: Gee, which GeeGees

By SHELL SHERREE

My hubby has been studying the Melbourne Cup edition of the racing purists' Bible (The Sportsman) for the past 30 hours straight, minus a few hours of fitful slumber (waking me up several times with sleep-talk about barrier draws, sires and what sounded suspiciously like a pumpkin muffin recipe). I know I can rely on him to come up with most sensible and thoroughly-researched tips as he figures out his final choices for his boxed Trifecta.

If you just thought to yourself, "Boxed Trifecta???", you'll find my own tips to be more your cup of tea. Or glass of bubbly.

As I mentioned in a previous post, I usually follow a scientific formula based on edible or clever names to choose my Melbourne Cup horses.

Iced Chariot was an instant standout for me. I suddenly had visions dancing in my head of a biscuit with plush marshmallow and jam or perhaps an exotic cocktail of mulled wine and Limoncello strained over strawberry sorbet. Imagine my disappointment when hubby pointed out that said gee-gee was in fact called Ice Chariot, not Iced Chariot. Nevertheless, I felt like I'd already set good vibes in motion, and I felt sorry for the horse having his Charlton Hestons removed, so I'll keep this six-year old gelding in my mix.

There was a distinct shortage of clever names in this year's Cup (just my humble opinion), so I had to call on some of my fallback methods to narrow the rest of the field.

There's the Ones that Sound Like an Epic Hollywood Movie method. Septimus, Littorio, Barbaricus and Alessandro Volta are great contenders. Septimus scores extra points for sounding most like a Russell Crowe character when the name Maximus is tacked onto the end. Septimus Maximus. Tick.

Alessandro Volta was probably named after the Italian scientist and philosopher who discovered methane gas. Does this fine equine have something extra building up in the tank to give him an edge over the distance? Perhaps he has been consuming Iced Chariots in preparation for a natural gas-powered boost? And his namesake had a Toyota hybrid-powered concept sports car named after him, which could be a good omen. Oh, what a feeling ... Tick.

So here are my tips in order of placing, but use them at your peril. You've read how they were chosen:
1. Septimus 2. Alessandro Volta 3. Ice Chariot

And no matter which neddies perform best on the day, let's just pray that when the race that stops the nation ends, they don't come over the line in this most unfortunate order: Guyno Viewed Prize Lady.

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