Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Lock Up Your Melons


BY SHELL SHERREE

Hold onto your fruit and veges and assorted household accoutrements. The racy and endearing English women who posed in the altogether ten years ago for a calendar to raise money for cancer research are at it again. And I'd like to say, "You go, girls!"

In the first calendar, these ladies, aged from late 50s to mid 70s, were shown whilst performing various 'homemaker' duties like gardening, knitting and baking, and putting a whole new spin on 'muffin tops'. Their private parts were cleverly obscured thanks to common items around the home, like flowers, wool, a couple of Queen Elizabeth II souvenir spoons and a small garden gnome. {Or something like that. If you're after accuracy, you'd better go to Wikipedia.}

I have to wonder, though, if the concept gives to community health with one hand and takes away with the other. Here is one comment, for instance, that I read with regards to the Associated Press article about these British Calendar Girls:

"I found the Calendar under my grandpa's mattress. Not bad; July has nice cupcakes." {submitted by edinamnguy at the Star Tribune's site}

Assuming grandpa also enjoyed July's cupcakes, did anyone stop to examine the statistics of increased blood pressure and heart conditions in grandpas when the calendar was released? A cataractstrophy of eye strain? A sudden spike in hernias from repeated mattress lifting?

I hope the Calendar Girls were sensitive to that when producing their 2010 calendar, and upsized to larger 'modesty' props accordingly. I know if I was doing it, I'd want some prize winning pumpkins from the local county fair and a small herd of Icelandic sheep, at the very least.

If they failed to take this into consideration, a bunch of British grandpas might need to put out its own health fundraising calendar, and I hear it's been a very bad season for zucchini. Especially the undersized ones.

11 comments:

  1. Very funny. But a piece of advice: when zucchini run short, I personally believe that there is nothing sexier than a man wielding a vacuum, in which case the attire is entirely besides the point.

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  2. Hee hee, Margaret. And Shell, do you happen to know where I can go to audition? Or...er...where my friend can go?

    Very funny, and I love the drawing.

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  3. You'd require melons? Wow, just a couple of tomatoes would probably do for me, even cherry tomatoes.

    And a man on all fours scrubbing the bathtub? That would be HOT!

    Hilarious as always, Shell. And I'm loving the added artwork here.

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  4. Yeah, I was also impressed by the need for pumpkins, prize winning pumpkins no less! :D

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  5. Thanks so much, gals. I'm happy you're enjoying the added illustrations - more fun for me, too!

    Margaret ~ I love your vacuum idea. My personal favourite would be the kitty litter trays. One for each ... hand.

    Petrea ~ I don't know where they audition, but perhaps it's an idea for next year's Pasadena Daily Photo calendar?

    PCN and from cali ~ It's only for modesty that I'd need melons or pumpkins and sheep. Necessity would only require the tomatoes :).

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  6. Shell, you guessed the mystery guest on PDP! What will your prize be????

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  7. Hee, hee Shell. As for the health of the Grandpas, who cares? They deserve all they get for hiding their calendars under the mattress in the first place!

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  8. from cali ~ Hoorayyyyyy! How about a miniature Eiffel Tower in the said lady's honour!

    I can't get today's PDP post yet. Is it just me, or is it un peu en retard? {Who would blame them!}

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  9. MmeBenaut ~ LOL! Well said! Naughty grandpas.

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  10. You are cracking me up with this one Shell! I saw the movie with Helen Mirren--it was lots of fun!

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  11. Anne ~ I'm guessing Helen Mirren would have been happy to skip the props altogether!

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